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Currently reading

The Disaster Artist: My Life Inside The Room, the Greatest Bad Movie Ever Made
Greg Sestero, Tom Bissell
Progress: 27/268 pages
Pompeii
Robert Harris
Awakening of the Heart: Essential Buddhist Sutras and Commentaries
Thich Nhat Hanh

STEEELWHISPER WAAAARNED MEEEEE

http://booklikes.com/book/2484566/falls-chance-ranch-falls-chance-ranch-1-rolf-ranger

 

Booklikes really needs to fix their bookpage system. They have a page for this book, why can't I directly link to it??

 

x-posted from GR. this review is sort of a stream of consciousness thing so don't expect coherency.

 

Aside from the questionable ethics of the forced DD, there is also the whole 'training dressage horses for a working cattle ranch in Wyoming' angle. Keep in mind, this is a state that has this:



as the semi-official symbol. I'm pretty sure any cattle ranch training their horses with dressage would be run out of the state on a rail! (and actually I've never heard of using dressage to herd cattle. That's... an odd thing to do with dressage. Like learning ballet in order to become an arborist! They're two completely different things!)

edit omg despite my shelf I am actually reading bits of it. "We don't keep coffee" ON A WORKING CATTLE RANCH hahahaha omg I am fucking <i>dying</i>. Those guys live on coffee and cigarettes lololol shiiiit the author <i>knows nothing</i> about ranches. holy shit.

I might actually have give a high rating just for the hilarity of a non-rancher who knows jack shit about ranches and didn't bother to research it either writing a some kind of weird non-consensual BDSM "working cattle ranch" (lololololol). Like, I when I first heard about this story I thought it was just awful but now I think its so awful that it <i><b>came around the other side and became hilariously entertaining</b></i>. It's been a while since I read a book like that. We'll see if this continues. I'm like half-way through the first chapter so I'm probably being optimistic. 

""Your work-life balance is non existent because your life skills are nothing like as developed as your work skills. You don't value them and you don't prioritise them." hahaha wtf, who wants to fucking clean house anyway.

also if I were that guy I'd say "Fuck this shit, no one's going to use corporal punishment on me and by the way lawsuuuuit time! Money-money money!! Both the "ranch" and my (former) employers--I'm heading out to a nice little villa in the Bahamas for the rest of my fucking liiiiife on your fucking DIME! See ya shitlords!"

e2: also "You're taking my cellphone over my DEAD BODY" seriously who puts up with this shit from people he doesn't even know. Let alone lets an employer dictate things like that.

just assume that every new paragraph is a new edit because I'm getting tired of typing 'e.whatever'.

"Fucking assholes telling me what drugs I can take? FUCK THAT SHIT I will murder you in your fucking sLEEP you don't look like doctors to me mr. CATTLE RANCHER"

YES YOUR ONLY ChOICE IS TO PLAY BALL WITH THOSE ASSHOLES INSTEAD OF GRABBING YOUR FUCKING CELLPHONE, CALLING THE POLICE AND TELLING THEM YOU WERE KIDNAPPED, AND THEN SUING THE FUCK OUT OF EVERYONE INVOLVED. SUe sue sue SUUUUE!

annnd here's Riley, one of the guys who <i>should</i> be murdering whathisface and whoseit for banning coffee from the place. (PRO-tIP, if you buy bad coffee like folgers you can make it not-bad by adding a lot of ground cinnamon and nutmeg to the grinds. Try it, you'll thank me!)

wat. they don't have a dishwasher. who the fuck wants to handwash dishes if they don't have to.

also they don't give him a fucknig wheelbarrow for the rocks. ALso I have never ever seen a ranch that kept a stack of rocks. Like, a stack of them. Most places don't bother stacking them because rocks can be found anywhere on the ground you see. I guess some non-ranch people don't know that? I mean, <i>I</i> know that. But then I've actually been on working cattle ranches. And I've been outside.

aaand naturally he throws up which I'm pretty sure is an indication of heat stroke, in which case <i>sitting in the shade</i> is like nowhere near enough to save him. So yeah. Pointless dangerous work in the heat. That's awesome. WE're not even through CHapter 1 folks, and already they almost killed him.

... he's hallucinating. This is definitely heat-stroke. THEY SHOULD BE CALLING FOR LIFEFLIGHT BECAUSE HIS BRAIN IS COOKING. Dude's lucky he lives in Romance Land or it would be permanent brain-damage or death.

Okay, so that's it for Chapter one. If I do this chapter by chapter it'll take forever and I have better books to read (The Memory of Blood and Lotuses is OUT, BITCHES). But, as a reference we already have at least three potential lawsuits (one against his employers for sending him here and threatening his job if he doesn't go, and two against the "ranch" for (1) taking his stuff and threatening to use corporal punishment and (2) working him in the sun and NOT TAKING HIM TO THE HOSPITAL ASAP the moment he showed signs of heat-stroke)

I haven't even gotten to the spankings or whatever they're going to do to this guy. That's like lawsuit city. He was tricked to come out here without knowing all the details of how he was going to be treated, let alone agreeing to it. THis guy is a CEO, he should be plotting to call his lawyer asap and prepping to sue the Board and ranch for what's already happened so far. I'm told that it gets worse though. I'll try to read more since I want to see how stupid the ranch stuff gets (seriously... MOVING ROCKS?? like. what's the point. Why would they stack up rocks to use as weights. rocks are on the ground. Everywhere. It's Wyoming. There's rocks. Hell, in some places you can pick up chunks of <i>dinosaur bone</i> and use them as weights if you want.)